Happy Valemtahm’s day, y’all! *throws confetti*
What’s everybody got planned for tonight? I am turrible when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I feel too much pressure to have to “do” something. I felt that same way on my 30th. Like I HAD to do something monumental because it was 30. [I wound up going out for dinner/drinks with a group of friends to celebrate and had a great time. I didn’t want to just do nothing as I’m sure I would have had regrets later.]
But still. THE PRESSURE!
I’ve never really made a huge deal of the big V-Day though… even if I did have a bf at the time. Maybe dinner and a movie or a nice thoughtful gift. I always feel like anniversaries and birthdays are a bit more special. Most v-days, I’d make a point to buy those little 2×4 Valentine’s Day cards that we used to give out in elementary school with a cartoon on it [Spongebob] and mail those out to my friends. [I’m a big fan of snail mail.] I thought it was a really cute way to spread the love.
[Don’t tell anybody I got too busy and didn’t send them out this year, kay?]
My one bit of advice to all the lovers out there is to be on the same page with your honey/baby/booski/man/girlfriend/fiancee about what type of V-Day person you are. I think that would eliminate a lot of disappointment and #vdayfailures.
For example, some women EXPECT the whole shebang on V-Day. Flowers, candy, fancy dinner, a night out on the town, an engagement ring, a surprise serenade by Luther Vandross’ reincarnate, all. of. it. Meanwhile, her dude may have been taking cooking classes to surprise her with a lovely home-made dinner and indoor picnic their apartment with candles and a carefully crafted mix-tape.
And here she probably bought a new dress, new shoes, got her hurr did, and make up done by the professionals. She just might look at his picnic like, NAWL. O___o
Another example: Some women are of the school of thought that they are the ones to get gifts on V-Day & that their dude shouldn’t expect a gift from them. And, true, a lot of guys don’t. But some guys DO, in fact, expect a gift in return. It doesn’t have to necessarily be a new car or anything extravagant, but they’d appreciate a dang card, some cufflinks, something that shows them some love/appreciation.
That scenario would probably end with her being all giddy at the new pearl necklace she just got for V-Day, and he sits there empty-handed and salty. #vdayfail
You get my drift?
This lovely diagram here shows that for the most part, dudes and dudettes are on the same page about what kind of plans they have the big V:
Interestingly enough, more women plan on having a low-key eventing together at home than guys. Go figure!
I think this “being clear on your expectations” advice crosses over to your friends, too. If you & your best girlfriends have a v-day Girls Night Out tradition, that might have to change if you get a new boyfriend or something. Make sure you let your homegirl know that you might not be available, otherwise, y’all may end up at odds that night and you’ll still end up with a #vdayfail.
Hopefully none of the above scenarios will apply. Hope you all have a great day and feel the love from your loved ones tonight, whether you’re single, married, in a relationship, or WHATEVER.
P.S. Me & the boyfriend dude made a mix tape of some of our favorite jams from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. [The photo is a link.] Download, Listen & Enjoy. :)